Breast refusal success story - Farida
- Gwynneth Jacobs
- Mar 30
- 3 min read
My 4-month-old exclusively breastfed baby had been refusing the breast all of a sudden. It started off with him latching on well and then unlatching and screaming. It got so bad that when I would put him in a breastfeeding position, he would start screaming like he knows what's coming even though he was so hungry.
He was struggling to latch during the day. I knew he was hungry, but he just pulled away every time I tried to feed him. He was screaming in hunger but refused to drink. It often took me almost 1.5 hours trying to get him to drink; he would eventually latch on by force or at times, by tricking him with a dummy. I tried latching while walking or bouncing on a ball. This had been going on for over a month.
I had even tried to express milk and give the milk in a bottle/ sippy cup / syringe. He just screamed and cried. At night he would breastfeed perfectly because he was half asleep.
I had read advice on the La Leche League group to remove his dummy, but I would usually put him to sleep with a dummy and would take it out after he fell asleep. I was worried about how I would make him sleep without a dummy.
I reached out to La Leche League for advice but a week later things were still the same. He was crying every time I tried to put him in a breastfeeding position. When he was laying down and playing, I would try to breastfeed him; he would drink a few sips but move away. He had started some porridge and was taking that happily so I mixed it with my milk and also fed him some milk in a syringe.
(LLLSA comment: World Health authorities recommend starting solids after babies turn 6 months of age for optimal health and development (World Health Organization (2023) WHO Guideline for complementary feeding of infants and young children 6–23 months of age. https://iris.who.int/bitstream/handle/10665/373358/9789240081864-eng.pdf
I also tried to squeeze some milk in his mouth to motivate him to drink but he didn't want to and would scream. The only time he would drink was at night when he was sleeping.
The La Leche League Leader then sent me a few videos to watch. Those videos were amazing.
I decided to try to feed him first then do some skin-on-skin care. I tried to create positive reinforcement by talking to him and kissing him while he was in the feeding position. I tried to not stress as well.
A few days later my son was drinking very well, back to normal.
These are the things I tried that helped:
Do not force him to breastfeed otherwise it creates a negative association!
Skin to skin when he was calm. I would feed him via syringe until he was content.
Then I would place him on me for skin to skin while not forcing him to feed, just looking into his eyes, talking to him, kissing him and trying to create a positive association with him being in a breastfeeding position.
I tried to create that love and bond again. He would then turn to the breast himself to latch. It took a lot of time and patience. I did this about 3-5 times for him to actually latch.
I would also try to create happy memories while being in a breastfeeding position. I would put on a big chunky necklace and let him look at all the colors and play with it. He would then latch on and off while looking at the necklace.
I would offer him the breast in different positions. So when he was lying flat, playing, I would attempt to feed him.. he would suckle for a second or so and let go.
It was fine; I didn't force him, I just let him play but kept the breast nearby.
-Farida Abdulla Ismail
Here are the video links that Farida found helpful (How babies learn to breastfeed, parts 1-3):
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