Zainab Ibrahim- The Challenge of Separation

  (July 2026)

[This mother’s name has been changed to protect her identity] 

This is our relactation story of how I encouraged my baby back to breastfeeding. I reached out to a La Leche League SA Leader at the beginning of June for help because I had had to travel and leave my baby behind and it had been a month since she'd breastfed. I wanted to speak with a Leader who had experience with back-to-breast (relactation) for babies who've been weaned.

This year, I performed Hajj, the Islamic pilgrimage, which was a sudden blessing; something that I hadn’t expected to happen this soon. At the time, my baby was 10 months old. I had tried to wean her before leaving, but she wasn’t having it—whenever she saw a bottle, she’d just throw it across the room and demand breastmilk.

Since I didn’t want to give her formula milk for health reasons, I opted for goat’s milk, which I felt was more suitable given her age and the fact that her body had not yet been exposed to cow’s milk. I had also noticed that most mothers who gave their children formula didn't have much success in getting them back-to-breast afterwards. My little one never really got used to the bottle before I left. At most she'd drink two or three sips if I forced her to. I ended up breastfeeding her right until the moment I handed her to my parents and headed to the airport.

After I left, for the first day or two she continued as she had been—she’d drink a sip or two and then fling the bottle away. My family tried to tempt her in various ways, but it wasn’t very successful. By the second day, though, she suddenly switched and began drinking the goat’s milk. She was already fully on solids, eating nicely, so there was no stress about her nutrition. It was just the goat’s milk she resisted—until she realised that there was no breast milk anymore and she suddenly gave in and drank it.

I was away for a whole month, nearly 30 days. For  the first day after my return she ignored me completely and was extremely excited to see her father (who had been away with me). She only wanted him and seemed angry with me. By the second day, however, she warmed up to me again. But despite me expressing milk throughout my journey to keep up my supply, she refused to latch and breastfeed. One mistake I think I made was that in the last few days before returning, I was exhausted and fed up with pumping. I packed away the breast pump before leaving for the airport, thinking it would be fine. I had a long full day transit, so I thought I’d just resume breastfeeding once home. But when I tried that night, she flat out refused. As soon as I lifted my shirt, she became hysterical. I couldn’t feed her at all that day. The next day I tried again, but she wouldn’t even let me hold her close to my chest, especially if my shirt was lifted.

I tried different positions, calming her, even offering her my breasts when she was half‑asleep, but she strongly resisted my every effort. Each attempt ended in tears—hers and mine. I felt rejected, guilty, and worried that my milk supply would vanish after all the effort of pumping during Hajj. It was heartbreaking to realize that the bond we had through breastfeeding seemed broken.

She had adapted quickly; she was now so different from the child I had left behind. Not only was she more attached to her bottles of goat's milk now, she had gradually stopped associating comfort with breastfeeding. She was thriving, healthy, and cheerful, even without breastfeeding. But I was not okay with the situation. I was desperate for her to start breastfeeding again.

By now my milk supply had dropped considerably because I kept expecting her to latch eventually and so I kept trying... I only resumed pumping about a week later. I was getting approximately 2 teaspoons per side per session at this stage.

The Leader suggested that I stop bottle feeds and instead cup feed her. I had already tried that. She was very dependent on  her bottle of milk to fall asleep. I'd tried switching to teaspoon feeding or cup feeding the same milk... She point blank refused it. She was drinking water from a silicone straw bottle. I wondered if switching to one of those for her milk would be of any benefit. She could drink water from a ‘normal’ cup, but everytime I tried giving her her milk in a cup or from a teaspoon, she would press her lips together and shake her head and start crying if I persisted.

The Leader also recommended that we bath and sleep together to get skin-to-skin contact and try to latch her in motion while carrying or walking with her. She encouraged me to offer breastfeeds without forcing.

Since my daughter was 11 months old, the Leader also suggested removing the bottles and pacifier as a priority, and she suggested that her milk feeds could also be offered by mixing it with her solid foods.

After two weeks of persistent effort, we had managed to cut the bottles and we were able to cup feed a very small amount of milk. Mostly she was just drinking water. My baby was no longer freaking out when I tried to feed her, but she also didn't really want it. Mostly she refused it. But occasionally, at sleeping time, she tried.. but she wasn’t suckling at all, only biting.The Leader reassured me that that was progress. We were both hoping she would start suckling soon.

At 21 days after I returned, 21 days of  trying to relactate, I just gave up...

Because she was getting more and more stubborn... She would drink my milk from a cup often, sometimes refuse it... But then she smelled it and point blank refused my expressed milk. She refused anything I gave her from a cup... even water at times.

So I gave her back everything: her bottle, straw cup, pacifier …

But I kept pumping... Just twice a day... 

Looking back, some of the tactics I'd tried are funny in hindsight. Coating everything in honey, peanut butter, Nutella, even making a trail of biscuit crumbs to tempt her to go close and start breastfeeding. Nothing worked. She seemed to have a very strong negative connotation to anything associated with breastfeeding, to the extent that if I pumped milk and poured it into a cup or bottle in front of her, she'd refuse to drink it and throw it away from her. If I pumped out of view and took the bottle out of the fridge, she was generally eager to drink it.

Then 2 days later, we had an electricity cut. She was playing alone with toys and I was in the shower. She became so scared of the darkness that she was crying hysterically, so I just threw on a t-shirt and ran to her.

She wasn't calming down, so I lifted my shirt thinking ‘might as well try’... but at this point, I had no expectation or hope that she would accept my breast, because I had already tried every single suggestion.

This time she just went straight for it; latched with no hesitation.

That night she refused again, but by the next morning she was taking it properly. 

Wonderfully, after another week my baby had completely resumed breastfeeding. 

I just want to thank La Leche League and the Leaders for all their help and the support they offered me during this stressful time. I encourage mothers to give it time. Patience is key to a relactating journey.